One drive common to people, regardless of culture, is the drive to find that one person that complements them - that one person with whom we are better together than we ever were apart - our soul mate. The mystery: out of the millions of people in and out of our lives, what, where and how is it that we seek and find that one person that sparks magic in our heart, soul and life? How is it that one person meets their lifelong soul mate at 15 while another meets them late in life? To understand the mystery, we asked 100 people how did you meet your soul mate?

From 100 stories, written by real, ordinary people, common themes were identified. While the place and way they met differed dramatically - each of them described a magic spark of soul mate recognition. The stories embody the magic that ignites true love and sparks a relationship that becomes a journey for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Friends, school, work, common interests and serendipity are the common themes among the stories; inspiration, synchronicity and faith their message. One thing for sure, when love came along, it was magic!

What is magic? Magic is more than chemistry; it is that synchronicity that unites two destinies into one in a magical moment. Beyond the one night stand; magic is an inner knowing that this person is the one person in your life with whom you want to spend your life. Some people experienced this magical moment the first time they saw their soul mate; for others, it was in their touch, still others it was a growing, evolving experience. In every case, it was clear: at last my love has come along! *Soul Mates

What it is?

Person placed in our path to help us heal, grow and experience life better because we are better together than when we were apart - a complement. One or more? Possible. Choices? Certainly. Regardless of definition a soul mate is two people joined together for a reason, a season or a lifetime…

Whatever your ideas of a soul mate, it is clearly one of the most highly desirable and sought after experiences we seek as humans. For example, a Google search of the words "soul mates" turns up 1,370,000 sites. A Google search for "soulmates" turns up 1,030,000 and they are not all duplicates of the previous search! Barnes & Noble lists 266 titles that include "soul mates": How to find, how to recognize, how to transform, how to give up, true & fictional stories of. AND, when you Google "dating services" you turn up 10,600,002 sites designed to connect seekers with that one perfect match! Phenomenal numbers reflecting phenomenal interest!

Our research shows mutually fulfilling love is more than chemistry; compatibility, common interests and communication are essential characteristics.

"Chemistry - the magic spark that makes a relationship more than a formal agreement or friendship it is also attraction - powerful, magnetic, undeniable attraction. Initially it can be labeled the 90-day-wonder stage; however, in spite of commonly held beliefs that this will wane or die; it is, with concerted effort, possible to keep the magic spark alive throughout aging and maturing. The key is concerted effort.

1. Honestly discovering a level of compatibility that strengthens the relationship.
2. Communication, making and taking the time to care and share daily. Facing and resolving disagreements, misunderstandings and hurt feelings, with loving intent, as they arise.
3. Intentionally attracting your soul mate each and every day!

"Compatibility - common goals and common values are the foundation for companionship and fulfillment. When neglected or ignored through the 90-day-wonder stage, the unknown surfaces and becomes irreconcilable differences when familiarity sets in. Asking and answering the following question:

"What's most important to you about _____?
1. life
2. marriage
3. career
4. children
5. parenting
6. parents
7. where you live
8. vacations
9. pets
10. habits
11. religion
12. retirement
13. income
14. credit
15. tidiness
16. orderliness

There are many more things you could use to fill in the blank and spark a dialog for discovery.

"Communication - the means to both discover and reconcile or leverage your similarities and differences. If you are not growing together as a couple, you are likely growing apart. "US time", undivided special time, is time set aside, free of distraction, to focus on growing together as a couple. It is that time for sharing and caring - best friend time. Looking in the mirror you see that you have two eyes, two ears and only one mouth use them proportionally - get real, get clear, get close.

"Common Interests - create a joy list: list the things you enjoy doing, excluding eating and spending money. Do those things and you are likely to discover someone with the other "C's." If there is a common interest in a long term relationship; then, a commitment to contribute daily toward a mutually fulfilling relationship - fulfilling for both partners - must be present. If, after the list is made, you find no common interests, all is not lost! Learn something new together that you like to do!

How to Get It

Ghandi taught us to be the change you want to see - however, first and foremost you must know what you want in a relationship. Make a list of ideal soul mate characteristics - laminate it, hang it in a visible place and read it aloud everyday. Ask yourself, aside from weight that could be gained or lost, more time spent in the gym or nose job you cannot afford… are you looking the best that you can for today? Ditch the excuses, minimize the flaws, emphasize the strengths and look attractive. Do what you can to look the best you can look, to attract the person you want. Then, go every place you get invited; create some places you want to get invited - your soul mate is waiting for YOU!

1. Make a list of characteristics of what is most important to you about your ideal soul mate and soul mate relationship:
a. Mentally
b. Physically
c. Spiritually
d. Emotionally
e. Financially

Consider your hobbies, your interests, your background/culture, your past relationships. Consider what you know you want and what you know you don't want.

2. Laminate, laminate, laminate! Take your list to the nearest office supply store and get it laminated - cost is less than a dollar. Read every day, first thing in the morning and the last thing before you go to sleep - penetrate the alpha waves - the first stage of the sleep cycle and the most programmable state you reach!

3. Become the list. Integrate into your being those things you wish to attract knowing that like attracts like. You have to be it to see it!

4. Remove your miscellaneous love blocks. Love blocks are subconscious energy signals that prevent or sabotage the love that shows up!
a. Guilt - what do I feel guilty about?
b. Fear - what am I afraid of?
c. Unforgiveness/resentment - who is on my hit list?
d. Self-serving behaviors - where are you self-limiting?
e. Stinginess - what am I hoarding? Nature abhors a vacuum, clean your closets, cabinets & drawers - recycle everything you do not love - clear a space for your new love!
f. LET GO OF THE PAST! As they say, "love like you never loved before!" The only value to history is what you learn from it that makes you a better person today.
g. Cease complaining and solve all your problems! Learn to ask for what you want instead. Zig Ziglar teaches that one sure way to attract more problems is to complain about the ones you have. Or, as Plato said, "If you live with a grateful heart you attract great things!" Make a list of the things in your life that you are grateful for and attract even more. The first step to change is awareness. Ask for clarity and courage to remove all blocks.

5. Woody Allen says that "90% of life is won by simply showing up!" Suit up, show up and do what you love to do. Volunteer, attend, participate - get in the energy of what you love to do and you will meet others with a similar love or they wouldn't be there.

Enjoy the following testimonials. They are true stories of real people who sought and found the love of their life - their soul mate. *Friends Introducing Friends

Everyone's fantasy is to meet their soul mate effortlessly. A friend, a colleague or family member calls and says "I've got somebody you need to meet" - your friends, family or colleagues become your cupid. One such story follows:

Bill is my Soul Mate. Bill was friends with my brother who tried to introduce us but neither of us really paid that much attention to him. One day I called to speak with my brother and Bill answered the phone!!! We talked, laughed and had a wonderful time. Bill sat down and wrote me, asking for a date.

On our second date, he proposed and I accepted. We were married 6 weeks later... I was 18 and he was 23. We both just knew that we had found the person we wanted to be with forever. How can that happen? I don't know, but we knew.

We have been married for 53 years, have had a wonderful life, a lot of learning experiences, and mostly just so much fun!! What a glorious life we have had. He is my best friend, and I am his.

Campus Connections

Who wouldn't want to meet their soul mate at 13, 14 and avoid playing the dating game for years on end? School, in this case, is more than traditional brick and mortar learning in elementary, high school and college; love has also been found at self-help workshops, seminars, conferences and work training - you are never too young or too old to get out and meet people learning something.

I was introduced to my husband to be in my second year of college, I was a sophomore and he was a junior. - His friend, Terry, and I were sorority sisters and he asked her to introduce us. She did and we dated for nine months before marrying. Ed did not fit the mold of any guys I had ever dated. He was very mature, seemed to have direction and a great sense of humor and wit, the number one trait that attracted him to me.

Prior to our being introduced by Terry, Ed had introduced Terry to his best friend, Johnny and they were married two months after we were. We have remained friends ever since. After 41 years of marriage, which produced two sons, he still makes me laugh.

Career Connections

For some who do not like the dating scene, work can be a safe environment to observe people's moods, personality, habits, interactions, values - their character. Given the amount of time co-workers spend together it is a natural growth medium for communication, compatibility, common interests and chemistry.

I met my soul mate when he was interviewing for a job with the firm I worked for. We were having lunch and I happened to be seated at his table, along with a partner of mine who was a real grouch. For reasons that have nothing really to do with me, the grouch lit into me the moment I sat down. Every time he would take a jab at me, I apparently quipped back at him. My soul mate was highly impressed that I held my own by making light of the situation. He remembers everything about this lunch, including what I was wearing and what we had for lunch. I remember nothing about any of this.

Personal Ad Connections

If you haven't met through friends, learning environment or work, the internet today with all the dating sites available enables global dating ability. Some statistics say one website alone has upwards of 10 million seekers. Websites provide search capabilities for possible mates according to your specific criteria and broadens your how to meet your soul mate exponentially. The following is that of a successful match!

I met Resa through a dating service 12 years ago. My dating counselor told me she did not have a picture and that although she had 2 young kids, she was spunky, attractive and could stand-up to my dominant personality. After 100 dates with other women, I was skeptical, reluctant and simply tossed her home number on my stack of "prospects;" then it became a bookmark.

I bookmarked a chapter with Resa's home number, stared at it and finally thought, "OK,I will call one more and that's it for dating. "I mis-pronounced her name when I called and Resa informed me she was not enlisted with the dating service. She did not sound terribly interested in meeting me. Finally, I convinced her to meet me for dinner and the rest is history.

Her kids meshed well with my kids and we really think of one another as "blood" family. Statistically, we should have failed but I knew from my first date, she was the one for me. Resa and her kids envelop my heart and soul and I thank God that I had the opportunity to receive one of his many gifts!

Common Interest

While you learn to be joyfully single, make a list of things you love to do, do them and see who shows up. If music is a love of yours, attend a musical event and see who shows up. Church is a love for many people; who shows up there? Bars and clubs are a popular venue commonly thought of as meeting markets. Do what you love and the mate will follow.

It was only the second time I attended the singles social and Spiritual Potpourri Class at my church. I arrived early, and heard footsteps behind me in the parking lot. Then a voice asked it I knew where the singles group met. I acknowledged that I did, and said "just follow me." The rest is history because as Jerry tells it, he has been walking with me ever since.

Serendipity

When your destiny is to meet your soul mate the whole universe is galvanized into action to make it happen. When you are open to receive, suit up and show up every place you can; then, anything can happen to bring your destinies together!

I met my soul mate at the Doctor's office! Immediate chemistry! We dated and traveled for about 10 months, and then, unfortunately, he passed to the other side. Apparently, his twice-before cancer had returned.

It was a brief interlude, but I still miss him, think of him often, and cannot help but think how our lives 'could have been.' Yet, what a lovely, special chapter in my book of life!

Final Analysis

Regardless of how it ends or doesn't; a soul mate relationship is one of the most coveted and rewarding human experience. When soul mates treat each other as if they were on a lifelong date, each and every day win love all over again, chances of a win/win or mutually fulfilling relationship increase.

For more insight on the attraction, care and maintenance of your soul mate relationship as well as more inspirational stories, you may purchase your very own copy of Life and Love Extraordinaire from our web site, order it from Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com or find it at a bookstore near you!

"If love finds you worthy it will direct your course." Kahlil Gibran